“Sir?”“Yes, what is it Jhonson?”“Well, sir, there's this boy--”“Ooh, another one claiming to be the legendary hero?”“Yes, sir.”“Well, show him in then.”“He...He's not here, sir, he just left the village of Hearthglen.”“Oh, well, get darkcharger ready, we can intercept him on the way to--”“um, sir?”“Yes, Jhonson?“You need to get ready--”“Ah, of course. How silly of me. Fetch my sword and armor. My best set, I want to make an impression, now.”“I've already got some grogs on that, sir, but--”“Excellent, I like your gumption Jhonson. I'm glad I decided not to--”“Sir, it's--”“Stop interrupting me Jhonson, that's getting annoyiong.”“--It's the anniversary. Sir. You need to get ready.”“Anniversary? That's today? No, no, the anniversary is next week, I'm sure of it.”“It is, sir, but we need to leave today if we're going to get to Magatha's before--”“I thought she was coming here.”“That was last year, sir. It's your turn.”“Last year? Well what was all that cleaning you had the grogs doing earlier, then?”“It needed it sir.”“Yes...yes, I suppose it did. What about Migrane? Is she ready yet?”“Morgan said to stop calling her that.”“Oh, just ignore her, Jhonson.”“She also said that she'll be ready 'as soon as these insufferable creatures fetch me proper shoes,' and that she hates you very much.”“Oh, she's just upset because we have to go meet her mother. I can't say I blame her.”“Sir, I don't think it's just--”“Oh, not this again. Is she still upset about the tower?”“Very. Sir, if I may...”“You may not.”“...Maybe it would be better to let her out more than once or twice a year?“I've told you Jhonson...”“I mean, she is your wife and all...”“You've been listening to her again, haven't you Jhonson?”“Well, sir, she--”“Enough! That Insufferable Woman; I give her the world, I let her have anything she wishes and all the time in which to do it, and she still does nothing but complain that I keep her locked up in that tower.”“If you'd just--”“Do you have any idea what it would be like if I let her loose? That woman would have all my grogs, my entire empire slaving away to make her a dress! 'What's the point in being an empress if you can't look the part?' bah! Enough of her, bring her up again and I'll have you fed to the dragon.”“Yes, sir.”“Now was there anything else, Jhonson?”“Well, sir, there is still the matter of the boy.”“Oh, just send a few dozen grogs to deal with him. If he's still alive when we get back I'll deal with him myself. Yorg knows I need something to look forward to.”“Yes, sir.”
The 'dark overlord' character is definitely inspired by Count Vile of Press Start, and I see his mannerisms in my head. I'm curious how just this dialogue reads to someone who doesn't have the picture in their head, though.
And yes, I'm actually putting writing up here. I'm not sure what to do.
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