Saturday, March 6, 2010

Chef's Nightmare

You find yourself seated within a grand hall, fit for plays, symphonies, and live Television showsThe curtains are closed and before you can question where you are or why, a well-dressed man approaches a lone microphone in front of the curtains.
"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to Tonight's edition of Chef's Nightmare, where one mad chef aims to combine greasy, fatty, delicious foods in ways that will almost raise your cholesterol even while salivating in anticipation.  I am your host, Kyle Skyshot, and it is my proud honor tonight to bring to you none other than the latest breakthrough in bacon and cheese technology.  But first, we treat you to the comic stylings of Jim Gaffigan."

 Jim Gaffigan, wearing a white shirt, suit jacket, and jeans takes the stage and promptly begins.

Before you can fully wonder where the stool appeared from,  Kyle returns and shoos Jim Gaffigan from the stage.

"Thank you, Jim.  I'm sure we're all hungry now for some BACON."

The crowd laughs instinctively, but quiets down as the house lights dim and a spotlight goes on Kyle.  A drumroll starts as he begins talking.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, it's time to reveal the latest creation of mad chef CID Farwin..."

The curtains open dramatically, revealing CID Farwin, holding his newest creation.

"The Chupaqueso Bacon Cheeseburger!"
"It's a cheeseburger! it's a chupaqueso! It's on whole wheat bread!"

The crowd cheers among fanfare as Kyle walks to the young man.

"Simply amazing, CID.  Once again you've shocked not only me but this wonderful audience as well.  Now, tell us about your newest creation."

"Well, Kyle, this delectable dish is so easy to make, even you could make it! Simply fry up a Hamburger in your average skillet, fry up some bacon, fry up some cheese, and combine in whichever way feels most intuitive.  Serve on a Hamburger bun or whatever bread is handy, or eat like a regular chupaqueso."

Kyle takes a bite out of an offered Cheeseburger and his face takes on a look of euphoria.

"Mmm, simply fantastic.  But don't just take my word for it, everyone in tonights audience gets a free Chupaqueso Bacon Cheeseburger!  Simply show your ticket stub in the front lobby, or buy additional burgers for $4.95 apiece.

"Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for Tonight. We hope you enjoyed (and continue to enjoy) tonight's creation! Until next time..."

The audience joins in shouting the show's motto,


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